The Hardest Part
Seeing her on the gurney being wheeled away
Departing when she was alone most
Nothing I could do
But guide her crying mother back to the waiting area
Said my goodbyes in the prep room
You are never ready for that quick goodbye
Eyes locked, arms embracing, a hug, a kiss
As if the goodbye was good luck
As if the goodbye was more of a “See you later.”
As if the goodbye was a hope, not a last
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The static white noise
The constant inconsistent beeps
The helicopters outside the window
The air conditioner breeze drying out eyes
The competing sounds battle for my attention
The bright lights dim but never shut off completely
Everything is so sterile
Everything is so new and clean
Everything is so modern and technically advanced
The competitive claim to extra pillows
The wake up when she wakes up technique
The staff is so friendly when she’s so drowsy or awake
We slept in the same room
So near and yet so far apart
We both had movable devices we slept upon
We both had sheets
We both had scars
She had a call button
I had my confident serenity
No complaints about eating
She finished her apple sauce
I finished her mashed potatoes
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Seeing the Eastern moon rise and fall in the night
The skyline of Queens and Brooklyn are my getting lost points
Reflecting in the East river
Williamsburg bridge just South
Queensboro bridge just North
In the distance; Throgs Neck Bridge,
or, was it the Whitestone Bridge?
Definitely not the Triborough Bridge
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Days and weeks and months and a year of planning
Of preparation and uncertainty
Of clarification and research
Of medical exams and tests
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Lesson learned
You can fall in love with someone even more
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The hardest part
Seeing her on the gurney being wheeled away
Departing when she was alone most
And there was nothing I could do
© 2025 David Greg Harth
25.02.18.10.34.00@424E34NYC