In my mailbox the other day,

I received an advertisement from Banana Republic.

It said:

 

Introducing

 

The Flagship Store at Rockefeller Center,

 

featuring accommodations, a person should be able to take

for granted, plus some very fancy gadgets:

 

A coat and bag check to free you for more noble pursuits.

 

Cell phone re-charging while you shop.

 

Store concierge. Whatever you need, someone will take care of it

within the limits of the law.

 

Complimentary delivery anywhere in Manhattan

(for purchases of $300 or more - through the end of 1999).

 

Palm Computing® connected organizer uploads of the store (and

other similarly fabulous places in Manhattan).

 

In other words, there may be more service than you can use at any

given moment, but don’t let that keep you from trying.

 

...

 

 

Now what I find amusing about this advertisement is statement number 3.

Let’s go over it again:

 

“Store concierge. Whatever you need, someone will take care of it

within the limits of the law.”

I have a question, actually, several, or, maybe they are propositions.

 

Would anyone here ask the store concierge to....

 

rob a bank?

 

murder someone?

 

rape someone?

 

bomb something?

 

hold up the store?

 

 

etc.

 

 

Now, why was this included on the advertisement?

Did lawyers suggest it from a fear of possible lawsuits?

Customers complaining that the concierge would not rob a bank with them?

I don’t know.

 

Advertising is weird. America is weird. I’m weird.

 

 

© 1999 David Greg Harth

99.11.16.02:15:40 @ 296 NYC