L, 1996 - 00 David Harth L, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Liar

I’m a liar

A vicious liar

I lie in cycles

Never coming out

 

I lied about my virginity

I lied about how many people I’ve slept with

 

I lied about how old I am

I lied about who I was

 

I lied about my love for you

I lied about my sexuality

 

I lied about my history

I lied about my wishes

 

I lied in that poem

I lied in that painting

 

I lied when I spoke to you

I lied when I made love to you

 

I lied when I hugged you

I lied when I killed you

 

I lied about the secret

I lied about the truth

 

I lied about masturbation

I lied about breaking glass

 

I lied when I said I enjoyed you

I lied when I whispered in your ear

 

I lied when I kissed you

I lied when I fell behind

 

I lied to my mother

I lied to my father

 

I lied to my friend

I lied to my lover

 

I’m a liar

A fuckin liar

Nothing but a liar

A low, selfish liar

A fuckin liar

Destructed

Destroyed

Fucked

A Liar.

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.22.17:23:51@1515NYC

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R, 1996 - 00 David Harth R, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Rabbits (Version #3)

They tickled me

Held me tightly

But she turned her back

And walked away

In the April morning

 

Now left alone

With nothing in my nude

Just the taste in my mouth

From last night’s smile

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.22.16:56:18 @ 1515 NYC

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L, 1996 - 00 David Harth L, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Lost Among The Cats

Lost among the cats

Sugar in mind

Remembering what two men said

Seeing a written sign

Two men follow

One in London

One in the District

 

The Dollar Man

He laughs

Counts

Smiles at me

With I’ll Get Over

 

The Romantic Man

He arises

Writes

Smiles at The Dollar Man

With definitive understanding

 

Sugar enjoys before

Don’t remember the professors

Or last night nurses

Or who is on stage

 

Lost among the cats

Repeating a reassuring phrase

Helping me now

But the innocence

Don’t know if its

Changed

True

Or written on a card

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.21.00:00:00 @ AVA

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E, 1996 - 00 David Harth E, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Emergency Room

The room spins around you

Vertically and Horizontally

Get a tingle in the left portion of your brain

And numbness

And weakness

Down your entire left side

Down your neck and arm

Down your chest and thigh and leg

Throughout your bony structure and thin painted skin

 

And you wonder

Is the world rotating

Is this me and will I wake up myself

Again?

And you wonder

Will someone catch me

Or will I hit the floor?

 

And after doing money exchanges

And getting beverage for thirst and food for consumption

You veer left

Walking left

And prop yourself against the wall

Head toward the elevator

And wonder

Does anyone see this?

 

Successfully placing yourself on a lift

You arrive in style

Brain warm

 

And you wonder

Who to call first or what to do and how to shed a tear

For I know I’m still me today

But what about tomorrow?

 

And you wonder

Who will know

And who will not

Who will get to speak with me

And who will not?

 

And you wonder

Who will pay rent

And who will pay for food

Who will pay for this

And who for that?

 

As you take the twenty-one dollar cab ride home

Or your favorite spot by the little red light house

Just under the George Washington Bridge

Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center

You run across familiar architecture and a path you’ve always known

And you look up at the American Flag and remember the 12th

And you remember glass and tests and dots and pancakes and bananas and

sheets and pillows and laws and rules and black and white and tunnels and

peace symbols and doors with nails

 

And as you approach

And tell the story again

See a familiar face again

And a warm smile

You realize

It’s still you, just a change,

Not a choice, not a time, just a change

And all that’s in your head

Is a single thought

Of those who you cannot get out of your mind

 

As you sit there

In a New York City Hospital

You wonder why you cannot have a normal room

Or who is normal?

I sit in the GYN room full with stirrups and I act and joke and be me

Talk of more MRIs and Spinal Taps

Nothing new

Just had a CT scan and EKG, no Spect Scan or EEG or Angiogram this time

Take my blood, prick me, tickle me, stick me, and tell me I’m a mystery

Welcome on board

 

Now I can cry with the music I cannot hear

Mirrors can’t be seen

The windows are hidden

And those who you wish cared, did not

And those who are blind, remain blind

And you know the only thing you’ve got

Is the one person who is in your world

Yourself

Myself

Me

 

And you know it’s not a dream

You aren’t even testing yourself

Images of the past come and go

And all you can do is smile

Because you know you are in medical history

But more importantly

You know it will be sunny the next day,

McDonalds French fries taste great,

movies rewind,

and someone is waiting for your return with a smile I’ll never forget

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.14.23:55:02 @ 296 NYC

00.02.16.01:45:13 @ 296 NYC

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I, 1996 - 00 David Harth I, 1996 - 00 David Harth

I’m Broken (Version #2)

Broken

Crushed

Left alone in the morning hour

In the old wet rain

 

No embrace

Or soft touch

Alone with a bad taste in my mouth

As I shake my head and squint

 

Broken

Defeated

Empty without a heart

No longer full of desire, more ache

 

Captivated by her smile

Her wonderful kindness

And beautiful brown eyes

I’ll never share

 

Broken

Stranded

I have a full bed to myself now

Nothing close, nothing to care for

 

Remembering her scent

Getting wrapped up in it all

All I can do is twist and turn

And rub the lasting one on

 

Broken

Lost

Not knowing what to do

I should run, escape

Close up shop

Pour my tears

And lock the doors

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.12.10:16:00@AVA

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D, 1996 - 00 David Harth D, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Destruction of Innocence

Dive into the mere nothingness of vast blackness

  dead sky

  and lonely chambers

  that I once knew

 

I can buy you a music personality

  make you a hand puppet

  and give you my puppy dog eyes

  under my skin

 

I’m just a scratched hunter

  insecure of pleasure

  underdeveloped in the area of redness

  and silent in timely hopes

 

Let me breathe

  and push me away

I’ll find you under trap doors

  and beneath the sea

 

Become forbidden with me

  tear yourself away

Become silent with me

  and lay under the stars

 

Let me in

  and you’ll be my magnet

I’ll find you under the rubble

  and beneath the flame

 

Become bitten with me

  surrender to your surroundings

Become bonded with me

  and smile with my smirk

 

I claim the moon to be yours

  it’s my gift to you

  the stars are for you

  all this for you

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.01.16:45:11 @ NYC

00.02.08.22:15:15 @ Brooklyn

00.02.09.01:53:50 @ 296 NYC

00.02.09.12:35:41 @ 1515 NYC

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B, 1996 - 00 David Harth B, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Beat

Big beat

Big bird

Big meat

Beat my meat

 

Big chest

Bid do

Dildo

Dive my hive

 

Big man

Big toe

Deep bent

Meant dent

 

Big beef

Beef cake

Cake make

Snake shake

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.08.16:02:11@New York City

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F, 1996 - 00 David Harth F, 1996 - 00 David Harth

For You (Version #2)

I did it because I loved you

I did it because I cared for you

Because I held your hand

Because I fed you

And nursed you

 

I did it because I didn’t want you to be in pain

And because I didn’t want to witness

 

I did it because you asked

Because you knew it was coming

 

I did it because you phoned me earlier

And told me how you felt

 

I did it because there was no one else

Because of the look in your eyes

 

I did it for you

And only for you

 

I pulled your plug

And now you are dead

And I live alone

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.08.14:28:39 @ 1515 nyc

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L, 1996 - 00 David Harth L, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Love (Version #06)

Love is something invented

To make everyone feel guilty

Trespass or cheat

 

Love is something everyone wishes for

To make all self-conscious

Die or live for

 

Love is something that only exists

Among yourself if you accept

Those who love you back

 

Love is something imaginary

Making us all to appear to exist

Or breathe with the ease of knowing

 

Love is something extraordinary

Created by individuals who share

Because they want to be cared for

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.08.14:15:32 @ 1515 nyc

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R, 1996 - 00 David Harth R, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Red Stadium Light

Red stadium light

Penetrated you and I

 

She was silhouetted

All I can see was bright light

 

Tingle through my veins

Blood boiling

 

Warmth from the blast

She was dancing high above

 

Standing on the chairs

Facing forward towards the light

 

Grooving, Powerful, Feeling

Falling from airplanes

Catching yourself in the net of love

 

Reaching, Holding her

My hand on her waist

From behind

 

Red stadium light

It ignited us

Made my flames burn

Made my tears think

Made my feet tumble from underneath me

 

Red stadium light

Rained down upon me

Blue sky overnight

Warm air breathed in

 

She danced in front of me

Like fire in the wind

Like sails in the sea

Like dandelions in the field

 

Red stadium light

It bounced all around us

My head down in shame

Leaving with nothing

 

I saw the insides

I explored

I had my twist

I had my time

 

Now all I can do is walk away

Walk out

Before it’s too late

Before you go

Before the red light goes down

Before the sky turns to dawn

 

Now all I can do is walk towards you

Walk in

After you have given

After you came

After the red light goes down

After the stars go to sleep

 

But before I go

Or after I go

Know this

The red light is always on

The stadium lights are always on

Until a box is let loose

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.08.13:09:33 @ 1515 NYC

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I, 1996 - 00 David Harth I, 1996 - 00 David Harth

I’m Broken

I’m broken

I’m defeated

I’m lost

 

I’m in the negative dust now

Surrounded by cold darkness

In the ache of a larger heart

 

I can’t save myself

Can’t perform

Can’t climb out

Or dig out of the grave

 

I’m broken

I’m defeated

I’m lost

 

This is just a dream

A big wet dotted grid

A battle of redness

I’m swollen now

 

Cracked

Hit

Smacked

 

I’m on the railroad

I’m hitchhiking across the U.S.A.

I’m nobody

I’m nothing

 

I’m broken

I’m defeated

I’m lost

 

My eyes blink

My arms move

My knees give in

And lose my balance and fall

 

Should I stay or go?

Maybe I’ll just become a fool

Time after time

Hurt

 

Outreached hand

Bloody palm

From aching heart

And tears of hope

 

I’m broken

I’m defeated

I’m lost

 

I’m limp

I’m numb

I’m crying alone

 

I’m dirt

I’m disgusted

I’m wasted

 

I’m drunk

I’m a doormat

I’m shattered

 

I’m smoking now

I’m a disease

I’m a singer of tears

 

I’m walking in circles

I’m a circular saw blade

I’m burnt into ashes

 

Thinking hurting

Challenged

Given up

 

Controlled

Poured

Should have remained silent

 

I’m broken

I’m defeated

I’m lost

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.06.10:20:15@296

00.02.07.17:28:41@1515

00.02.08.11:37:07@1515

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O, 1996 - 00 David Harth O, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Oma and Opa (Version #3)

I stopped everything

 To go watch my grandmother die

 

I took the A train uptown to 207th St

 And walked up the street where the black squirrels ran

 

Three children were sledding down the snow covered hill

 In laundry baskets, sleds, and cookie sheets

 

How could someone be so depressed and sad

 When children play just outside?

 

 

I found my grandmother laying in the chair

 Still and motionless

 Not knowing I was there

I bent down

 And held her hand

 It was cold and veiny, filled with spots from the liver

She awoke to my warm touch and smile

 

Her grey hair had not been washed in days

Her whiskers on her cheek unclipped

Her leg swollen from where the cancer was carved away

Her depression making her hunch-back and stiff

 

Her wrinkles competing with her fragile structure

Her blue eyes still as powerful as my own

Her tears salty to the glance

Her heart still beating from the love

 

I delivered my words

As much as I could

Of hope and strength

 

 

Awards and certificates line the walls

 Old portraits and photographs too

My artwork from when I was little

 And articles about my grandfather’s favorite Democrats

 

The door knobs still have crystal on them

The door frames still arched

The couch still covered in plastic

The candy dish still on the round coffee table

 

My grandparents wearing their old clothes

From so many years ago

I don’t even know what is hip

In or out

 

The bed was unmade

Easier access perhaps

The dishes were clean

There was an overabundance of food from Meals-On-Wheels

 

 

She can no longer walk

Or go to the toilet alone

No more cookies for me

No more smiles on her face

 

She can no longer breathe sunny air

Afraid to go to doctors

Taking numerous pills a day, an hour

She sits and cries

 

All she can say

Is that God is punishing her

And never forget about her Five sisters and Mother

Murdered by the Nazis

As she escaped

And ran away

From Lithuania

 

 

As the sun came down today

They will not let me take the subway home

We order a car service

Arriving on time

 

They pack me full of different goodies

Fruit and Milk mainly

They have so much they cannot finish

Instead of rotting, they send it with me

 

Sometimes, as I see those pears rot in their kitchen

I make direct associations, and see them

 

 

Oma still lives

But,

What do I do now?

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.05.03:00:00 @ 83PTW NYC

00.02.05.22:56:05 @ 296E NYC

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S, 1996 - 00 David Harth S, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Snowfall

It’s 1am

And I’m wandering these old streets

   of lower Manhattan

The gentle snow is cascading down

Each flake is reflected

   in the yellow light of the lamppost

I walk on the snow covered

   cobble stone roads

I see the whiteness forever

   settling on the red brick buildings

   bordering these street labyrinths

 

It’s cold in the air

   I can see my breath

But all around

   I feel warm

The snow falls on my hair

   Covers my jacket

   And lays upon my soft lips

 

Everywhere I look

   Snow falls in patterns of joy

   In a hurry to fall and land

They land on window sills

   And on parked cars

   Even on dogs walking by

They land on my feet

   And on my ears

   Even on the space between my upper lip and nose

 

I see all this beautiful snow

It blankets the city down

And I smile

   How could I not think of you

   When I see such beauty in this world?

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.04.04:47:43@296NYC

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I, 1996 - 00 David Harth I, 1996 - 00 David Harth

If You Let Me In

Your lips

Penetrated my armor suit

What am I to do?

If you let me in

If you let me in

 

I remain silent

Wishing

Not knowing

 

My guard falls down

I’ve been strong for years

Solid with concrete walls

Huge doors and locks

 

Your lips

Penetrated my armor suit

What am I to do?

If you let me in

If you let me in

 

I circle your navel with my tongue

Wondering

Not feeling

 

My eyes look up at the darkness

It’s all I can do

Until you let the warmth come out

And I can hold you tightly

 

Your lips

Penetrated my armor suit

What am I to do?

If you let me in

If you let me in

 

I engulf your body and mind at times

Drowning

Not experiencing

 

My heart beats

I know I’ve been evil

But my truth keeps me alive

And your beauty makes me want to be alive

 

Your lips

Penetrated my armor suit

What am I to do?

If you let me in

If you let me in

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.02.03.03:43:50@296NYC

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D, 1996 - 00 David Harth D, 1996 - 00 David Harth

dhubpup (Poopsie the Rooster & Fluffernutter)

Poopsie Whoopsie Woopsie Doo!

I fell on my bottom

Oh boy oh booty do!

 

Rooster Goose I once knew a Moose

A mouse in a house of course

 

Cutsie Poototsie Plus

Whacky Wacky Wacked-A-Roo

Whimped Wump Woo

 

Barefooten frook-a-doo!

 

Guess What?

Chicken Butt!

Shut my mut til my smut gut lut

Shrink brink dink sink mink

link a kink a rink a fool!

 

Banana Peanut Butter

Fluffernutter shutter

OOOOooooooooooooo

 

April Fresh

Don’t want to make a mess

How about less stress better be ness!

 

Big boss moss

Lost a sea a man at frost

 

She shore sunny day

Maybe today maybe tomorrow

Hay day, Hey La La!

 

Whacky Whacked Whack-a-Roo

Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!

Jack Smack Pack my Rat

Jack Rack Duck my chin

Dine Mine Rhine o Rhyme!

Deep Deeper Deepest Dope

 

Poopsie Whoopsie Woopsie Doo!

I fell on my bottom

Oh boy oh booty do!

Now what do I do??

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.01.27.03:57:17@296NYC

00.02.03.03.20:12@296NYC

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I, 1996 - 00 David Harth I, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Instruct The User

a. instruct the user how to properly use the usage

 

b. use the used instructions while using

 

c. instruct the using to use the usage

 

d. use the usage while applying pressure

 

e. instruct the proper amount of applied pressure while being used by the user

 

f. instruct the specifications of each individual user to their applied usage

 

g. use the used while being used only if its applied properly

 

h. instruct each use to be used in a manner other than pure usage

 

i. instruct the user how to properly manage each use when used

 

j. use the users instructions to properly learn the specific usages

 

k. instruct each user to use the usage within the limits of being used

 

l. use the users use

 

m. use the use of the users used

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.01.29.01:45:00@14ST7THAVENYC

00.01.29.13:19:00@296NYC

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M, 1996 - 00 David Harth M, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Misery

I hope I get sick again

To get me out of my misery

 

It’s a bad plea

But it will be a success for both of us

 

I’ll wake up in the new

Different features

Different water fountains

 

You’ll forget about me

As I remain silent for days and weeks

Even months

 

You’ll move on

Go forward

Forget about the past

 

I’ll be ill

But I won’t be in pain

Never the pain that I experience

When alive with the ache

 

I hope I get sick again

So, I can count the tiles

And watch the Jags roll in

And eat hospital food

 

I hope I get sick again

To be punished for sins of not knowing

To live it up once again

And dream the wildest dreams

 

I hope I get sick again

It brings the distant closer

Near death

And it will make me soft

 

Hiding and never coming out

You can see me

But you’ll never see through me

And you’ll never see me

 

But in my mind

I’ll have a lasting memory

Of what could have been

If I wasn’t in misery

 

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.01.29.03:45:00@14ST7THAVENYC

00.01.29.13:11:00@296NYC

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S, 1996 - 00 David Harth S, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Sexually Explicit Uncomfortable-ality

I thrust my cock deep inside of her pussy.

She sucked my cock.

Deep throat.

I fucked her hard.

I ate her out.

I finger-fucked her.

I penetrated her young innocence

I cummed on her face.

She fucked me hard.

She licked my cock.

I tit-fucked her.

I sucked her.

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.01.28.02:00:00 @ New York City

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B, 1996 - 00 David Harth B, 1996 - 00 David Harth

Bagpiper

Blow me into the heaven I belong

Make me feel the pain that I have caused

Demonstrate the suffering I only dreamed of

Become the death beat in my pulse

 

Remind me of my father’s love

Listen to my buffalo thoughts roam

Tear open my skin and reveal my truths

Prevent me from eating the disease

 

Make me shiver in the coldness of tonight

Deliver your message with more conditions and rules

Show me the reflection of the past and image of the future

Become the agony from which I cry from

 

Get lost with my soul and make me beg for life

Reach for the sockets that hold my art sight

Make me wash my clothes continuously and never remain with the blood

Become my fallen teeth nightmare and crack me

 

Settle the upwards issue

Blow to my brains that will be televised

Let the hollow hole bring light to the earth from which a flower does not grow

Restore my history with your learned beauty

 

Stare at my darkness and hidden causes

Make me think about swallowing and never do

Feed me to the pit and make me never decompose

Cut loose the ties which bound me to my beliefs

 

Make a run for the silent hills

Make me shackled and naked and false

Make me love until I ache in fetal pain

And forget about me as I become my gorgeous depersonalized self

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.01.12.23:16:36 @ 296 NYC

00.01.19.01:07:16 @ 296 NYC

00.01.27.04:19:03 @ 296 NYC

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I, 1996 - 00 David Harth I, 1996 - 00 David Harth

I’m Getting Married

Who here wants to meet me in

Las Vegas

For a weekend

 

For the sole purpose

To get married in a drive-thru wedding chapel

 

In the name of art

 

Then burn the papers

And be ourselves again

 

 

© 2000 David Greg Harth

00.01.25.15:35:38 @ 1515nyc

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