David Harth 2014-07-10 David Harth 2014-07-10

One More Morning

At 7 O’clock I woke up this morning

The windows were open

Like most July 10ths in New York

The day was hot

I was restless but I woke up as I always do

Drank a full glass of water with my

80 mg of aspirin,

1400 mg of fish oil,

1200 mg of flax seed oil

And 20 mg of cetirizine hydrochloride

At 7 O’clock

Shortly after 7 O’clock

I took a shower like I do every day

The steam scattered around trying to escape

I always wash myself in the same order

Which, in brief, goes like this:

With Dove Men+Care Body & Face Bath Bar (Extra Fresh),

I first wash my ass, cock, and armpits

Then I rinse

Then with Head & Shoulders Classic Clean 2 in 1 Dandruff Shampoo + Conditioner

I wash my hair, followed by a rinsing

Then with Dove Men+Care Body & Face Wash (Extra Fresh),

I wash my entire body again.

Including the same body parts I washed with the bar soap

Followed by a final rinse

And I dry with my black towel while still standing in the tub

The towel that has been dryer spun way too many times

I carefully step out onto my bamboo bath mat and dry my feet

Then with Colgate Total Anticavity Fluoride and Antigingivitis Toothpaste, Advanced Clean,

I brush my teeth gently - not too vigorously, as to not harm my gums

That is followed by a minute of swishing around of

Listerine Total Care Zero Mouthwash

That was shortly after 7 O’clock

As the clock approached 20 minutes past the 7 O’clock hour, or so,

I brewed some Chilmark brand Single Speed Espresso, Ethiopia Negele Sidamo-Sumatra Mandheling coffee

My apartment filled with such an inviting and warming aroma

It truly was delicious

I drank my over 8oz. cup of coffee around half past 7 O’clock

At half past 7 O’clock I continued drinking my coffee and

I turned on the computer, an evil necessary gadget

Perhaps first considered invented back in 1872 by Sir William Thomson

I’ve been called a Sir before. Plenty of times

But that’s an entirely different context that we won’t get into now

And so I began checking email, the news, and facebook

Sometimes these sources of communication can truly be addictive

I try to limit my time in the morning using these technologies

Perhaps around 8 O’clock I turn off the nonsense

And so an hour after I woke up at 7 O’clock

I continue my day with what’s needed to be done

I review my calendar and contemplate:

Is today a day I have a date?

Is today a day I visit a museum?

Is today a day I donate platelets?

Is today a day I work at the art studio?

Is today a day I attend an art opening?

Is today a day I ate a burger with someone?

Is today a day I have a doctor’s appointment?

Is today a day I work at home on design work?

Is today a day I attend a performance or concert?

Is today a day I attempt to ask someone to sign my bible?

Is today a day I take a photo booth portrait with someone?

My days vary completely

But as they vary, they are the same

Constantly moving forward

With my Kuru shoes made specifically for people with plantar fasciitis

With my continued struggle to avoid cookies (I happen to really love chocolate chip cookies)

But onward I march

Like a poetic warrior of laboring love

14.07.10.07:10:00@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2014-05-15 David Harth 2014-05-15

Impact

There are two ways

of making

impact

Laughter we shared

Smiles photographed

Music we heard

Concert we danced at

Tears we tasted

Mourning in silence

Snow that fell upon us

Running in the rain

Soaring planes

Observing skies

Walking side by side

Holding hands down the street

Conversations had

Games of phone tag

Burgers eaten

Sharing dessert

Taking a photo booth portrait

Visiting an art museum

Laying upon the grass in the park

Bird songs echoing overhead

Riding the roller coaster

Drifting on the ocean’s edge

Waking up late

Eating popcorn at the movies

Standing for eternity

Witnessing a signature

Kissing beneath midnight

Making love forever

All these experiences

And I have nothing left

Nothing to give

And nothing to receive

Every bone crushed

Every organ destroyed

I become no longer recognizable

I am dead

It was impossible to survive a fall from such a height

A jump

After my body has impacted the ground

The mourners will ask you,

How has he impacted your life?

14.05.15.09:32:00@130BKLYNNYC

David Harth 2014-03-31 David Harth 2014-03-31

Epic Battle

These monsters combat my moral insides

These demons assault my daily breath

I attempt to abide and keep in control

But the more I live on

The more I want to die by suicide

14.03.31.22:47:12@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2014-03-06 David Harth 2014-03-06

Mistakes

I have no regrets

Except, perhaps, that one woman

I was in my young 20’s

We had a date

I walked her home

We were making out at the entrance of her apartment building

She asked me to choke her

I did

She was a twin and lived with her sister

Back then I wouldn’t go in on the first invite

I was invited

But I didn’t go in

That was the first woman who asked me to choke her

Afterwards, in reflection, that was one of the moment’s I realized I was a dom

I regret not going up to her apartment

Her name escapes me

But regrets are different from mistakes

I’ve made a lot of mistakes

But they aren’t regrets

There are people I should have married

There are people I should have had a baby with

There are jobs I should have accepted

There are opportunities I should have ceased

There are residencies I should have attended

There are benefits I should have gone too

There are art receptions I should have been at

There are lectures I should have been present at

Those were all choices

Perhaps not even mistakes

Choices led to the life I have now

And this life I have

Is grand

It is the path I have carved for myself

Even if I struggle daily to survive

That struggle keeps me alive

I need this pain to keep me going

Because the purpose I am here

Will be revealed shortly

And the last mistake will not be a mistake

But a fully crafted calculated decision

Years in the making

My longest art work

14.03.06.10:27:17@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2014-02-25 David Harth 2014-02-25

Walking

The further I breach the border of sanity

The closer I reach the destructive addiction

The closer I become addicted

The higher the chances of full blown insanity

The higher the insanity the greater the chance I become a statistic

The chance of me becoming a statistic is within seven minutes

14.02.25.16:17:36@323NYC

David Harth 2014-02-14 David Harth 2014-02-14

Quietly Come, Quietly Go

I’ve been summoned

Synchronized and scrutinized

Not in my birth father’s footsteps

But in the footsteps of the undertaker

These are the blossoms of life that you don’t believe in

The chances you are unwilling to take

Like the swells in the ocean’s fury

Like the gusts in the wind’s scream

Each lover I’ve had

Contracted the worse disease of all

For the day I commit suicide

They can surely say

“I made love with him”

14.02.14.14:14:14@323NYC

David Harth 2014-02-07 David Harth 2014-02-07

The Depth of Darkness

Not even one

Knows the truth

No sister, no friend, no father, no foe

Everyone underestimates

How sad

How lonely

How horrific

How painful

How dreadful

How disturbing

How loathsome

This life could become

And when life becomes

Such a headache

Such a mission

Such a burden

Such a barren

Such a waste

Such a battle

Such a task

It seems to me

One could

Find end

Find escape

Find resolve

Find closure

Find answers

Find steadfast

Find conclusion

Quite easily

If you just look around

At the suggestions

At the architecture

At the substances

At the information

At the methods

At the objects

At the tools

You have readily available

Right in front of you

14.02.07.07:07:07@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2014-01-30 David Harth 2014-01-30

Unrecognizable

The crimson darkness has fallen upon us

I have vivid memories of you

Courting you with everything I’ve got

With an ammunition of poetry

Lying next to you on the Great Lawn

Beneath the galaxy of shimmering stars

Penetrating your wetness deeply from behind

Your hands pressed up against the cold window pane

The crimson darkness has fallen upon us

We lost our child to a storm of resulting emotions

You moved so far away from me

Coital cephalgia still infiltrates daily

Voices of you scream a haunting echo

In the empty chambers of my heart

I was intoxicated with infatuation

Blinded by your secret allurement

The crimson darkness has fallen upon us

Liquid dripped from your inner thigh months too early

We were bound for complete sadness

Our eyes turned to unyielding stone

Everything failed and came to a complete halt

As we battled for each other's existence

Off the bridge you desired

You walked on and I fell deep

Turned once more

Your lips parted slightly

As if to say one last goodbye

The shadows swallowed you whole

And you were gone

As the crimson darkness has fallen upon me

I have become unrecognizable

14.01.30.03:12:41@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2014-01-24 David Harth 2014-01-24

Something I’ve

She approached

With a wave and a hatless flow of hair

Her killer smile made my knees melt into the snow below

But I won't talk about that

For now

Because her intellect

Stimulated conversations

Of multiple directions

She kissed me

I kissed her

In the frigid air

Taught me well

A new perspective

Which I love

At my old age of dry eyes and acid reflux

To listen

Think, once again

Before I speak

A reflection

A believer

Romance

Forefront

Forward

She enveloped me

Briefly we thought, scared me

I checked

Her bitten hands covered in gloves

There was that smile again

Hop on the plane

Next destination

Prediction, perhaps

Welcomed observations

If she never comes back

To the circle I have become

She shed light

To the fact that sometimes

I am indeed

Too square

But she

Is the circle with no fear

The courageous tiger that stares back at you

The global beacon

Which I hear,

Bing, Bing, Bing

The educator - The teacher

Not even counterfeiting

Or dancing

But prowling with determination

Sly, she knows

With a whispering departure

She goes...

At the end, it’s all

Something I’ve learned

14.01.24.02:36:41@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-12-11 David Harth 2013-12-11

Taken Too Soon

Walking on the sidewalk

Passing reflections in the glass

Everywhere I look

I see haunting memories of you

It was twenty years ago to this very day

That I lost you

We were young and in love

We had grand plans

That our parents didn’t approve of

We talked of traveling the world

Making babies and love under a sunset’s ocean

We talked of setting up a small café

Among locals that spoke a different language than us

We talked about sailing oceans

From port to port

Even though neither one of us knew how to sail

We talked about writing a book together

About adventure and sex and loneliness

Even though we were virgins of life back then

I walk the cold streets of New York

And think about what could have been

An empty typewriter sits in my studio

My heart is broken

Because you were my first

And my only

Ever since you’ve been gone

There has been no one

Remotely comparable

No matter how many times I mend

No matter how many dates I attend

No matter how many samplings I taste

I wish the Five O’Clock was late

Bending around that curve

The train was on time

There was no warning

The lights weren’t flashing

The barriers weren’t down

My foot was on the gas

I was driving as late autumn leaves drifted in the air

Your hands outstretched from the car window

We were singing together out loud

Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” was on the radio

And that we were, so free

You were so cheerful and beautiful

It happened so suddenly

And in such slow motion

The cracking and crumbling

The shattering of glass

The car spun a few times

Around and around

When I came to

I felt the trickle of blood

Down my face

I looked at the passenger seat

And you were gone

13.12.11.17:47:56@323NYC

David Harth 2013-12-02 David Harth 2013-12-02

Roberta Smith Puts Crumbs In Her Pocket

I get on the subway at Union Square

Riding North on the N train

I see Roberta just sitting there

She is sitting quite near

I’m standing right next to her red auburn hair

Not to be compared to a Vermeer

What do I say and what do I do?

She signed my bible but doesn’t know my name

Do I ask her for a review?

Do I ask her to take a photo booth portrait with me?

Or invite her out for a burger?

Maybe I should just make one plea

You see-

I’ve been on this crazy diet recently

I’ve been doing well, lost 25 pounds

No cookies, no muffins, no cupcakes, no brownies

Because I stopped making the sweet rounds

But you see

I see this famous art critic on the train

And all I really wanted to ask her for was a bite

If only my tongue could have just one grain

From where I was standing

It looked as if Roberta was enjoying

A Nature Valley 100% Natural Oats ‘n Dark Chocolate Crunchy Granola Bar

I didn’t ask for a nibble, for fear of being insanely annoying

After she devoured that granola bar

Crumbs descended upon her transparent yellow folder which contained a possible critique

She neatly wiped the crumbs into her cupped hand

And placed the crumbs in her pocket in one smooth streak

I respected Roberta before

But now even more

For she doesn’t leave her crumbs

On the subway floor!

13.12.02.16:00:00@NTrainUnionSqToTimesSqNYC

David Harth 2013-11-24 David Harth 2013-11-24

The Ghosts We Have Become

With nothing to do

I place stories to nameless faces

Trying to reconstruct false memories

I make love to islands of women

And prevent true love from penetrating

Every defense system I’ve put in place

Falling from Hudson’s cross

I count the countless

And become just another statistic

It was so transparent and evident

But you were so blind and deaf

To all the signals and calls

Today’s decree witnessed by passersby

Aloft with yearning above my own termination

Until I am adrift with my last love letter to you

We have conceded to the future’s deathly grip

Permanently free from this perverse sense of rapture

All we have become are ghosts of yesterday

13.11.24.23:09:47@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-10-07 David Harth 2013-10-07

Five More To Parisi

I wish you had told me that you were about to commit suicide

These are the disclaimers of death

That we should have listened to

Before you took your last breath

Every time I leaned in closer to you

And would whisper words into your ear

The ear that I would nibble upon

Whisper words which would hide my profound love for you

But you knew what I meant, when I said every word

Except for the one word

But you knew that I was in love with you

Because I did everything for you

I crossed rivers and climbed mountains for you

I halted the world and put down my bible for you

I was a witness to your running

You tried desperately to depart

You would fiercely make every attempt

To hide the truth and seek an escape

But you would let me in

Your hollow eyes seemed so lost over the years

Kept secrets from everyone with your weeping tears

Everyone thought we were so innocent

No one knew the truth of the despair

How much pain we were in

Or the magnitude of our wrenched hearts

As we longed for each other

And each generator of our creations ignored

Despite us having our finest Sunday sword

I still yearn for you

A thousand times each twilight

And yet still I refuse love

Even when it is so real

Right there in front of me

Echoes of your haunting last plea

I am hopeless with stories of you

When you’d wake up in my arms

Crying in fear of abandonment

Even though the greatest love

Was in front of you

You were ready to ignore another suffering day

Putting treasured ink and voice foremost

Compositions of an unusual ghost

Our hearts were so caliginous

Enemies of each other

Conquering the very life which kept us alive

So near in distance

Impervious emotions

Separated by boundless oceans

You did it before I could even hit the ground

My door was always ajar

And now you have gone too far

So, I wander and walk upon this earth

Lost and broken without you

Blood flows in my veins

Until the day I join you

That day is not today

Five More To Parisi

13.10.07.01:59:12@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-09-30 David Harth 2013-09-30

Decade

Can’t remember the last time I walked steps next to yours

In synch we would walk

Share stories about past loves

Whilst you glistened your lips with ChapStick

And drip last night’s sex from your inner thigh

We’d walk down Flatbush

To the subway

I’d go to work

And you’d get off a stop early

To go back home

While I waited for you

One day more

And covered the windows with plastic

And put a second blanket upon the bed

To keep you warm

Warm at night

It seems like a decade

Since I last saw you

In white

Beneath

Cloudy skies

13.09.30.10:53:10@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-08-07 David Harth 2013-08-07

Creamed Pants

Cream stains all over my pants

I remember that summer evening

It was a hot and humid

New York City night

One of those nights I hated completely

One of those nights you loved so compellingly

We sat in the park for hours

Watched the dogs play at dusk

Until, I was quite unaware, the sun set it's last time

Twilight turned a deepening dark

City lights prevented the depth's of midnight to show

But we sat in the heat

And allowed the Hudson's breeze to awaken us

You had a cone and my arm around your shoulder

The stains of my orange creamsicle still exist

These little spots remind me of you

And the twinkle in your eyes

When I first said those three little words

I love you

We had no idea

That come morning's sunrise

I'd be plagued forever

For you

Took your own life

After I said

Good night

Last night

13.08.07.04:27:00@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-07-26 David Harth 2013-07-26

Anitra

Putting my obsolete pen to paper

It’s so difficult to do

You’ve vanished into the loneliness vapor

I met you ten years ago

We shared secrets and stories

Last ten I missed you grow

Went back through old emails

I know you’ve left the safe harbor

You’ve put up your last sails

How did love catch an early flight?

When our calendar’s weren’t ready

Your brown eyes were a magical sight

You’ve left us all so incomplete

We memorialize your beauty

Your heart so sweet

A smile of radiance and splendor

I am an obscure friend at a distance

In awe of your heart’s surrender

On my wall hangs a portrait by your brush

You are never to be forgotten

My hand shares the very same crush

Remembering your brightly lit soul

You were the courageous lioness

My vacant heart now has a cavernous hole

So as the cupid drifts into eternity

Know that you are your own captain

Of your forevermore destiny

An artist’s early end

My heart sinks to a lover’s sorrow

An angel will now ascend

13.07.26.14:07:55@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-07-17 David Harth 2013-07-17

Finding

I am weeping inside

Do you taste my tears in your morning cereal?

Do you hear my screams in your evening sleep?

Do you feel my heart trembling beneath your daily footsteps?

Scared in such a terrible fear

I can no longer think straight

Every subject and every errand

Every gesture and every to do

Every moment and every breath

No longer

Can I commit to this existence

Early exodus was always inevitable

As I strangle my cock from too much masturbation

As I slam my migraine-ridden head against the pavement

As I cut off my ears and gouge out my eyes

I cut off my tongue and offer to you

Very

Last

Speech

13.07.17.22:44:08@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-06-30 David Harth 2013-06-30

Bypass the Abyss

I’ve had enough

No more neurological exams

and no more migraines

No more pretending

and no more smoke screens

No more eating donuts behind closed doors

and no more coke

No more uncontrollable masturbating

and no more meaningless sex

No more ignoring my plantar fascia

and no more procrastination

No more missing deadlines

and no more slacking

No more being fat

and no more being stagnant

No more hiding

and no more pointless watching

It’s time to avoid the cataclysmic

It’s time to deflect inevitable

It’s time to bypass the abyss

I’ve had enough of this

No more

I can’t do this any more

But its you that keeps me alive

Only you

And since I haven’t met you yet

I’ll endure this pain a little while longer

13.06.30.24:55:00@130BklynNYC

David Harth 2013-05-05 David Harth 2013-05-05

We Wake, We Sleep, We Say

Songs of the morning starlings greet us

Silently the tangerine beams of sunshine awake us

Its light bends around us and keeps us aglow

From the open window a slight breeze tickles the sheer ivory curtains

Making them dance and cast shadows upon our still selves

The scent of jasmine and lilac fills the air

Cherry blossoms sail pass the sill

With my head still calmly against your bosom

I wake next to you

My love that keeps me alive

And keeps me awake

We carry on with our day

Knowing that you walk upon the same earth as I

Life is abundant with small enriching atonements

Time eludes us quickly without warning

Evening reveals itself in its common routine

As the night stars gaze upon us in jealous awe

We say our goodnights

So we may sleep once more

My kiss to you was my very last

For come next dawn

Wake I shall not

I have released you from my grip of affection

And I have escaped from this prison

Into the waters of the state’s divide

13.05.05.19:25:27@323NYC

David Harth 2013-04-04 David Harth 2013-04-04

Judgement

You’ve all become witnesses

Hear me now and hear me clear

Time has come and time is near

All before me now have come to this ritual moment

When time collides with existence

Mind leaves inclination at a distance

This space between becomes unnatural

Filled with fire and rage

Motionless and trapped in a cage

You wanted truth and honesty

From the deepest crux, I gave you all

My ship has departed, carried on this mammoth squall

As the ocean always does

Put up your walls and keep your locks

I shall voyage until I find new docks

Embers always glowing

A tortured soul brings awareness

Covering the innocent from bareness

Wait for the arbitrator and wait for the guardian

I pull off my cloak and lie down upon these rails

The purest heart now sails

Judge me now

For no matter my shortcoming

I’m dissolving into nothing

Dismissed into eternity

Ideal time to be fleeing

Terminated from being

Until we meet again

My limbs disconnected

Until I’m resurrected

13.04.04.03:39:07@323BklynNYC