O, 2011 - 15 David Harth O, 2011 - 15 David Harth

One More Morning

At 7 O’clock I woke up this morning

The windows were open 

Like most July 10ths in New York

The day was hot

I was restless but I woke up as I always do

Drank a full glass of water with my

80 mg of aspirin,

1400 mg of fish oil,

1200 mg of flax seed oil

And 20 mg of cetirizine hydrochloride

At 7 O’clock

 

Shortly after 7 O’clock

I took a shower like I do every day

The steam scattered around trying to escape

I always wash myself in the same order

Which, in brief, goes like this:

With Dove Men+Care Body & Face Bath Bar (Extra Fresh),

I first wash my ass, cock, and armpits 

Then I rinse

Then with Head & Shoulders Classic Clean 2 in 1 Dandruff Shampoo + Conditioner

I wash my hair, followed by a rinsing

Then with Dove Men+Care Body & Face Wash (Extra Fresh),

I wash my entire body again.

Including the same body parts I washed with the bar soap

Followed by a final rinse

And I dry with my black towel while still standing in the tub

The towel that has been dryer spun way too many times

I carefully step out onto my bamboo bath mat and dry my feet

Then with Colgate Total Anticavity Fluoride and Antigingivitis Toothpaste, Advanced Clean,

I brush my teeth gently - not too vigorously, as to not harm my gums

That is followed by a minute of swishing around of

Listerine Total Care Zero Mouthwash

That was shortly after 7 O’clock

 

As the clock approached 20 minutes past the 7 O’clock hour, or so,

I brewed some Chilmark brand Single Speed Espresso, Ethiopia Negele Sidamo-Sumatra Mandheling coffee

My apartment filled with such an inviting and warming aroma

It truly was delicious

I drank my over 8oz. cup of coffee around half past 7 O’clock

 

At half past 7 O’clock I continued drinking my coffee and

I turned on the computer, an evil necessary gadget

Perhaps first considered invented back in 1872 by Sir William Thomson

I’ve been called a Sir before. Plenty of times

But that’s an entirely different context that we won’t get into now

And so I began checking email, the news, and facebook

Sometimes these sources of communication can truly be addictive

I try to limit my time in the morning using these technologies

Perhaps around 8 O’clock I turn off the nonsense

 

And so an hour after I woke up at 7 O’clock

I continue my day with what’s needed to be done

I review my calendar and contemplate:

Is today a day I have a date?

Is today a day I visit a museum?

Is today a day I donate platelets?

Is today a day I work at the art studio?

Is today a day I attend an art opening?

Is today a day I ate a burger with someone?

Is today a day I have a doctor’s appointment?

Is today a day I work at home on design work?

Is today a day I attend a performance or concert?

Is today a day I attempt to ask someone to sign my bible?

Is today a day I take a photo booth portrait with someone?

My days vary completely

But as they vary, they are the same

Constantly moving forward

With my Kuru shoes made specifically for people with plantar fasciitis

With my continued struggle to avoid cookies (I happen to really love chocolate chip cookies)

But onward I march

Like a poetic warrior of laboring love

 

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.07.10.07:10:00@130BklynNYC

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I, 2011 - 15 David Harth I, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Impact

There are two ways

            of making

an

            impact

 

 

Laughter we shared

Smiles photographed

 

Music we heard

Concert we danced at

 

Tears we tasted

Mourning in silence

 

Snow that fell upon us

Running in the rain

 

Soaring planes

Observing skies

 

Walking side by side

Holding hands down the street

 

Conversations had

Games of phone tag

 

Burgers eaten

Sharing dessert

 

Taking a photo booth portrait

Visiting an art museum

 

Laying upon the grass in the park

Bird songs echoing overhead

 

Riding the roller coaster

Drifting on the ocean’s edge

 

Waking up late

Eating popcorn at the movies

 

Standing for eternity

Witnessing a signature

 

Kissing beneath midnight

Making love forever

 

All these experiences

And I have nothing left

Nothing to give

And nothing to receive 

 

Every bone crushed

Every organ destroyed

I become no longer recognizable

I am dead

It was impossible to survive a fall from such a height

A jump

After my body has impacted the ground

The mourners will ask you,

How has he impacted your life?

 

 

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.05.15.09:32:00@130BKLYNNYC

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E, 2011 - 15 David Harth E, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Epic Battle

These monsters combat my moral insides

These demons assault my daily breath

I attempt to abide and keep in control

But the more I live on

The more I want to die by suicide

 

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.03.31.22:47:12@130BklynNYC

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M, 2011 - 15 David Harth M, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Mistakes

I have no regrets

Except, perhaps, that one woman

I was in my young 20’s

We had a date

I walked her home

We were making out at the entrance of her apartment building

She asked me to choke her

I did

She was a twin and lived with her sister

Back then I wouldn’t go in on the first invite

I was invited

But I didn’t go in

That was the first woman who asked me to choke her

Afterwards, in reflection, that was one of the moment’s I realized I was a dom

I regret not going up to her apartment

Her name escapes me

 

But regrets are different from mistakes

I’ve made a lot of mistakes

But they aren’t regrets

 

There are people I should have married

There are people I should have had a baby with

There are jobs I should have accepted

There are opportunities I should have ceased

There are residencies I should have attended

There are benefits I should have gone too

There are art receptions I should have been at

There are lectures I should have been present at

 

Those were all choices

Perhaps not even mistakes

Choices led to the life I have now

And this life I have

Is grand

It is the path I have carved for myself

Even if I struggle daily to survive

That struggle keeps me alive

I need this pain to keep me going

Because the purpose I am here

Will be revealed shortly

And the last mistake will not be a mistake

But a fully crafted calculated decision

Years in the making

My longest art work

 

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.03.06.10:27:17@130BklynNYC

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W, 2011 - 15 David Harth W, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Walking

The further I breach the border of sanity

The closer I reach the destructive addiction

The closer I become addicted

The higher the chances of full blown insanity

The higher the insanity the greater the chance I become a statistic

The chance of me becoming a statistic is within seven minutes

 

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.02.25.16:17:36@323NYC

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Q, 2011 - 15 David Harth Q, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Quietly Come, Quietly Go

I’ve been summoned

Synchronized and scrutinized

Not in my birth father’s footsteps

But in the footsteps of the undertaker

 

These are the blossoms of life that you don’t believe in

The chances you are unwilling to take

Like the swells in the ocean’s fury

Like the gusts in the wind’s scream

 

Each lover I’ve had

Contracted the worse disease of all

For the day I commit suicide

They can surely say

“I made love with him”

 

 

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.02.14.14:14:14@323NYC

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D, 2011 - 15 David Harth D, 2011 - 15 David Harth

The Depth of Darkness

Not even one

Knows the truth

No sister, no friend, no father, no foe

Everyone underestimates

How sad

How lonely

How horrific

How painful

How dreadful

How disturbing

How loathsome

This life could become

And when life becomes

Such a headache

Such a mission

Such a burden

Such a barren

Such a waste

Such a battle

Such a task

It seems to me

One could

Find end

Find escape

Find resolve

Find closure

Find answers

Find steadfast

Find conclusion

Quite easily

If you just look around

At the suggestions

At the architecture

At the substances

At the information

At the methods

At the objects

At the tools

You have readily available

Right in front of you

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.02.07.07:07:07@130BklynNYC

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U, 2011 - 15 David Harth U, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Unrecognizable

The crimson darkness has fallen upon us

I have vivid memories of you

 

Courting you with everything I’ve got

With an ammunition of poetry

 

Lying next to you on the Great Lawn

Beneath the galaxy of shimmering stars

 

Penetrating your wetness deeply from behind

Your hands pressed up against the cold window pane

 

 

The crimson darkness has fallen upon us

We lost our child to a storm of resulting emotions

 

You moved so far away from me

Coital cephalgia still infiltrates daily

 

Voices of you scream a haunting echo

In the empty chambers of my heart

 

I was intoxicated with infatuation

Blinded by your secret allurement

 

 

The crimson darkness has fallen upon us

Liquid dripped from your inner thigh months too early

 

We were bound for complete sadness

Our eyes turned to unyielding stone

 

Everything failed and came to a complete halt

As we battled for each other's existence

 

Off the bridge you desired

You walked on and I fell deep

 

 

Turned once more

Your lips parted slightly

As if to say one last goodbye

The shadows swallowed you whole

And you were gone

 

As the crimson darkness has fallen upon me

I have become unrecognizable

 

 

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.01.30.03:12:41@130BklynNYC

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S, 2011 - 15 David Harth S, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Something I’ve

She approached

With a wave and a hatless flow of hair

Her killer smile made my knees melt into the snow below

But I won't talk about that

For now

Because her intellect

Stimulated conversations

Of multiple directions

She kissed me

I kissed her

In the frigid air

Taught me well

A new perspective

Which I love

At my old age of dry eyes and acid reflux

To listen

Think, once again

Before I speak

A reflection

A believer

Romance

Forefront

Forward

She enveloped me

Briefly we thought, scared me

I checked

Her bitten hands covered in gloves

There was that smile again

Hop on the plane

Next destination

Prediction, perhaps

Welcomed observations

If she never comes back

To the circle I have become

She shed light

To the fact that sometimes

I am indeed

Too square

But she

Is the circle with no fear

The courageous tiger that stares back at you

The global beacon

Which I hear,

Bing, Bing, Bing

The educator - The teacher

Not even counterfeiting

Or dancing

But prowling with determination

Sly, she knows

With a whispering departure

She goes...

At the end, it’s all

Something I’ve learned

© 2014 David Greg Harth

14.01.24.02:36:41@130BklynNYC

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T, 2011 - 15 David Harth T, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Taken Too Soon

Walking on the sidewalk

Passing reflections in the glass

Everywhere I look

I see haunting memories of you

 

It was twenty years ago to this very day

That I lost you

We were young and in love

We had grand plans

That our parents didn’t approve of

 

We talked of traveling the world

Making babies and love under a sunset’s ocean

We talked of setting up a small café

Among locals that spoke a different language than us

 

We talked about sailing oceans

From port to port

Even though neither one of us knew how to sail

We talked about writing a book together

About adventure and sex and loneliness

Even though we were virgins of life back then

 

I walk the cold streets of New York

And think about what could have been

An empty typewriter sits in my studio

My heart is broken

Because you were my first

And my only

 

Ever since you’ve been gone

There has been no one

Remotely comparable

No matter how many times I mend

No matter how many dates I attend

No matter how many samplings I taste

 

I wish the Five O’Clock was late

Bending around that curve

The train was on time

There was no warning

The lights weren’t flashing

The barriers weren’t down

My foot was on the gas

 

I was driving as late autumn leaves drifted in the air

Your hands outstretched from the car window

We were singing together out loud          

Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” was on the radio

And that we were, so free

You were so cheerful and beautiful

 

It happened so suddenly

And in such slow motion

The cracking and crumbling

The shattering of glass

The car spun a few times

Around and around

When I came to

I felt the trickle of blood

Down my face

I looked at the passenger seat

And you were gone

 

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.12.11.17:47:56@323NYC

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R, 2011 - 15 David Harth R, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Roberta Smith Puts Crumbs In Her Pocket

I get on the subway at Union Square

Riding North on the N train

I see Roberta just sitting there

 

She is sitting quite near

I’m standing right next to her red auburn hair

Not to be compared to a Vermeer

 

What do I say and what do I do?

She signed my bible but doesn’t know my name

Do I ask her for a review?

 

Do I ask her to take a photo booth portrait with me?

Or invite her out for a burger?

Maybe I should just make one plea

 

 

You see-

 

I’ve been on this crazy diet recently

I’ve been doing well, lost 25 pounds

No cookies, no muffins, no cupcakes, no brownies

Because I stopped making the sweet rounds

 

But you see

I see this famous art critic on the train

And all I really wanted to ask her for was a bite

If only my tongue could have just one grain

 

From where I was standing

It looked as if Roberta was enjoying

A Nature Valley 100% Natural Oats ‘n Dark Chocolate Crunchy Granola Bar

I didn’t ask for a nibble, for fear of being insanely annoying

 

After she devoured that granola bar

Crumbs descended upon her transparent yellow folder which contained a possible critique

She neatly wiped the crumbs into her cupped hand

And placed the crumbs in her pocket in one smooth streak

 

I respected Roberta before

But now even more

For she doesn’t leave her crumbs

On the subway floor!

 

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.12.02.16:00:00@NTrainUnionSqToTimesSqNYC

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G, 2011 - 15 David Harth G, 2011 - 15 David Harth

The Ghosts We Have Become

With nothing to do

I place stories to nameless faces

Trying to reconstruct false memories

 

I make love to islands of women

And prevent true love from penetrating

Every defense system I’ve put in place

 

Falling from Hudson’s cross

I count the countless

And become just another statistic

 

It was so transparent and evident

But you were so blind and deaf

To all the signals and calls

 

Today’s decree witnessed by passersby

Aloft with yearning above my own termination

Until I am adrift with my last love letter to you

 

We have conceded to the future’s deathly grip

Permanently free from this perverse sense of rapture

All we have become are ghosts of yesterday

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.11.24.23:09:47@130BklynNYC

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F, 2011 - 15 David Harth F, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Five More To Parisi

I wish you had told me that you were about to commit suicide

 

These are the disclaimers of death

That we should have listened to

Before you took your last breath

 

Every time I leaned in closer to you

And would whisper words into your ear

The ear that I would nibble upon

Whisper words which would hide my profound love for you

But you knew what I meant, when I said every word

Except for the one word

But you knew that I was in love with you

Because I did everything for you

I crossed rivers and climbed mountains for you

I halted the world and put down my bible for you

 

I was a witness to your running

You tried desperately to depart

You would fiercely make every attempt

To hide the truth and seek an escape

But you would let me in

Your hollow eyes seemed so lost over the years

Kept secrets from everyone with your weeping tears

 

Everyone thought we were so innocent

No one knew the truth of the despair

How much pain we were in

Or the magnitude of our wrenched hearts

As we longed for each other

And each generator of our creations ignored

Despite us having our finest Sunday sword

 

I still yearn for you

A thousand times each twilight

And yet still I refuse love

Even when it is so real

Right there in front of me

Echoes of your haunting last plea

 

I am hopeless with stories of you

When you’d wake up in my arms

Crying in fear of abandonment

Even though the greatest love

Was in front of you

You were ready to ignore another suffering day

Putting treasured ink and voice foremost

Compositions of an unusual ghost

 

Our hearts were so caliginous

Enemies of each other

Conquering the very life which kept us alive

So near in distance

Impervious emotions

Separated by boundless oceans

 

You did it before I could even hit the ground

My door was always ajar

And now you have gone too far

 

So, I wander and walk upon this earth

Lost and broken without you

Blood flows in my veins

Until the day I join you

That day is not today

Five More To Parisi

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.10.07.01:59:12@130BklynNYC

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2011 - 15, D David Harth 2011 - 15, D David Harth

Decade

Can’t remember the last time I walked steps next to yours

In synch we would walk

Share stories about past loves

Whilst you glistened your lips with ChapStick

And drip last night’s sex from your inner thigh

We’d walk down Flatbush

To the subway

I’d go to work

And you’d get off a stop early

To go back home

While I waited for you

One day more

And covered the windows with plastic

And put a second blanket upon the bed

To keep you warm

Warm at night

It seems like a decade 

Since I last saw you 

In white

Beneath

Cloudy skies

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.09.30.10:53:10@130BklynNYC

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C, 2011 - 15 David Harth C, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Creamed Pants

Cream stains all over my pants

I remember that summer evening

It was a hot and humid

New York City night

One of those nights I hated completely

One of those nights you loved so compellingly

We sat in the park for hours

Watched the dogs play at dusk

Until, I was quite unaware, the sun set it's last time

Twilight turned a deepening dark

City lights prevented the depth's of midnight to show

But we sat in the heat

And allowed the Hudson's breeze to awaken us

You had a cone and my arm around your shoulder

The stains of my orange creamsicle still exist

These little spots remind me of you

And the twinkle in your eyes

When I first said those three little words

I love you

We had no idea

That come morning's sunrise

I'd be plagued forever

For you

Took your own life

After I said

Good night

Last night

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.08.07.04:27:00@130BklynNYC

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A, 2011 - 15 David Harth A, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Anitra

Putting my obsolete pen to paper

It’s so difficult to do

You’ve vanished into the loneliness vapor

 

I met you ten years ago

We shared secrets and stories

Last ten I missed you grow

 

Went back through old emails

I know you’ve left the safe harbor

You’ve put up your last sails

 

How did love catch an early flight?

When our calendar’s weren’t ready

Your brown eyes were a magical sight

 

You’ve left us all so incomplete

We memorialize your beauty

Your heart so sweet

 

A smile of radiance and splendor

I am an obscure friend at a distance

In awe of your heart’s surrender

 

On my wall hangs a portrait by your brush

You are never to be forgotten

My hand shares the very same crush

 

Remembering your brightly lit soul

You were the courageous lioness

My vacant heart now has a cavernous hole

 

So as the cupid drifts into eternity

Know that you are your own captain

Of your forevermore destiny 

 

An artist’s early end

My heart sinks to a lover’s sorrow

An angel will now ascend

 

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.07.26.14:07:55@130BklynNYC

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F, 2011 - 15 David Harth F, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Finding

I am weeping inside

Do you taste my tears in your morning cereal?

Do you hear my screams in your evening sleep?

Do you feel my heart trembling beneath your daily footsteps?

 

Scared in such a terrible fear

I can no longer think straight

Every subject and every errand

Every gesture and every to do

Every moment and every breath

 

No longer

Can I commit to this existence

Early exodus was always inevitable

As I strangle my cock from too much masturbation

As I slam my migraine-ridden head against the pavement

As I cut off my ears and gouge out my eyes

I cut off my tongue and offer to you

My

Very

Last

Speech

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.07.17.22:44:08@130BklynNYC

 

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B, 2011 - 15 David Harth B, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Bypass the Abyss

I’ve had enough

No more neurological exams

and no more migraines

No more pretending

and no more smoke screens

No more eating donuts behind closed doors

and no more coke

No more uncontrollable masturbating

and no more meaningless sex

No more ignoring my plantar fascia

and no more procrastination

No more missing deadlines

and no more slacking

No more being fat

and no more being stagnant

No more hiding

and no more pointless watching

 

It’s time to avoid the cataclysmic

It’s time to deflect inevitable

It’s time to bypass the abyss

 

I’ve had enough of this

No more

I can’t do this any more

 

But its you that keeps me alive

Only you

And since I haven’t met you yet

I’ll endure this pain a little while longer

 

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.06.30.24:55:00@130BklynNYC

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W, 2011 - 15 David Harth W, 2011 - 15 David Harth

We Wake, We Sleep, We Say

Songs of the morning starlings greet us

Silently the tangerine beams of sunshine awake us

Its light bends around us and keeps us aglow

From the open window a slight breeze tickles the sheer ivory curtains

Making them dance and cast shadows upon our still selves

The scent of jasmine and lilac fills the air

Cherry blossoms sail pass the sill

With my head still calmly against your bosom

I wake next to you

My love that keeps me alive

And keeps me awake

 

We carry on with our day

Knowing that you walk upon the same earth as I

Life is abundant with small enriching atonements

Time eludes us quickly without warning

Evening reveals itself in its common routine

As the night stars gaze upon us in jealous awe

We say our goodnights

So we may sleep once more

 

My kiss to you was my very last

For come next dawn

Wake I shall not

I have released you from my grip of affection

And I have escaped from this prison

Into the waters of the state’s divide

 

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.05.05.19:25:27@323NYC

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J, 2011 - 15 David Harth J, 2011 - 15 David Harth

Judgement

You’ve all become witnesses

Hear me now and hear me clear

Time has come and time is near

 

All before me now have come to this ritual moment

When time collides with existence

Mind leaves inclination at a distance

 

This space between becomes unnatural

Filled with fire and rage

Motionless and trapped in a cage

 

You wanted truth and honesty

From the deepest crux, I gave you all

My ship has departed, carried on this mammoth squall

 

As the ocean always does

Put up your walls and keep your locks

I shall voyage until I find new docks

 

Embers always glowing

A tortured soul brings awareness

Covering the innocent from bareness

 

Wait for the arbitrator and wait for the guardian

I pull off my cloak and lie down upon these rails

The purest heart now sails

 

Judge me now

For no matter my shortcoming

I’m dissolving into nothing

 

Dismissed into eternity

Ideal time to be fleeing

Terminated from being

 

Until we meet again

My limbs disconnected

Until I’m resurrected

 

© 2013 David Greg Harth

13.04.04.03:39:07@323BklynNYC

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